Thursday, November 29, 2007

Barf


BLAAAHHHH

I don't feel very well. In fact I think I have a bug. I am not so bad off that I am not eating (then we would be talking serious trip to the hospital), but I have been moping around the house all day all lethargic and flashing everyone in the room my famous pathetic look. I have not even felt like ripping apart that blasted handpuppet or flipping my paw off at Sonnyboy the anal schnauzer. High strung freak.

So M and S got the bright idea of getting me out of the house by slinging me into the back of the car for a ride. Um, what would make them think I would be up for that? M got all pissy when I refused to jump in the back. That upset me. S tried to make it better with nutter butters. A commendable effort, and not completely unappreciated. They decided to go have a look at the snow that had fallen the night before just up the hill. Anyway we headed home - the long way because M was bound and determined to get me to barf OR because S was not appreciating my natural doggie smell... either way, S hears me gagging (she always does), M told her he did not hear anything and that I was fine and just standing because I knew I was almost home.

I barfed.

And then when they finally let me out I barfed again.

M cleaned it up even though I would have happily eaten it. I think I saw the pigs ear in there. Bummer. It smelled like peanut butter... irresistable! At least I got some S cuddles out of the deal.

I returned to moping.

I am pretty sure I am going to get something extra special delicioso tonight at dinner. I saw meatloaf in the fridge. S is SURE to sneak some into my dish. She loves me... Or pitties me... either way I am the winner so who cares.

Monday, November 26, 2007

A Little Privacy PLEASE!!!!

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I have yet to see a bone off that rib. Can you believe these people?? But I have seen those greedy little bastards gobble down leftovers all day and night since Thursday.

Not one bone!

S did give me some sort of wonderous concoction though. A cheesecake with meatsnacks hidden within. All was well with that, then I decided to get cute and lap up a pile of birdseed off the ground where M was filling the feeders. Apparently 4000 oil coated sunflower seeds and assorted round seeds (what are those? They don't digest!) do not sit well in my tummy. Who knew? Not me. I am only a puppy though. Certainly Mr. Bossy, Know-It-All might have warned me off them like he does every other delicious thing. But NOOOOOO. Now I am blasting out those seeds whole and making all sorts of racket while... constitutionalizing.

Embarrassing for a girl of my breeding.

And now I am subjected to this indignity...


I live among the course!

I am not an ANIMAL!

A Dog's Life... Decisions Decisions

M'lady... perchance are those my cookies you have there laid before me?

No. They are mine. Keep your muddy little paws off them. OR ELSE!

Uh... gulp.... But... I yearn! I have my needs!!! I will have to go to my room?????? Cry.


.... I'll takes my chances.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I AM The Favorite!!!!!!!




Hi, Happy Thanksgiving!

Here I am with my pal M. OK I have a secret crush on him. Don't tell him kay? I am a pretty low key kind of gal. But really, don't we look cute? All smiles and such. These are pictures the other girl in his life took of us at Salt Creek, Washington. Notice who got to sit next to him. I am the clear favorite!

So we spent this glorious day romping around on the beach, scampering around the tidal pools and running from waves. Then we had a lovely picnic on the cliff above the beach among the tall trees. Notice pic 2 shows me trying to dine on M arm. Ooh la la... me gots to have my M meat! He was pretty pissed until I gave him a kiss (pic3) and promised him my share of the wine.

I heard mention of prime rib for Thanksgiving. I hope they throw me a bone.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Zig - My Uncle


This is Ziggy.
He is my crazy uncle. You know the one nobody talks about.
OK that is a lie.
He only LOOKS crazy. Its the crazy poodle haircut Nana gives him that makes him look... off. She claims she does it because he picks up strays and "hitch hikers" ( prostitutes) and brings them home. Apparently it was his fluffy "hair" that attracted them. I say it was the bottle of Jack Daniels, a paw full of roofies and unabashed male wares leg lifting that are the draw. At least that is what it was for me. Garrrrufff!

Ziggies Likes: Mixing it up with the ladies, a good vindaloo, vodka on the rocks with a spritz of keylime
Ziggie's Dislikes: Pre 9 am wakeup calls, menthol cigarettes, too much parfume on his ladies, ticks (all kinds)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Christmas Trip Angst

So today S told me that we are going away for Christmas. You know me... I worry. How will Santa know that I am not at home? S tells me it is far. How far? Because I barf on road trips! Will there be pigs ears? I am often good and pigs ears are my reward. What if if they do not have them? Do they have have ice cubes? I love them and I doubt any house has them besides mine. Oh worry and bother... I wonder if they have sheep. I might be able to forgo pigs ears if I can get a nip on some sweet sheep.


I wonder if they will love me as much as S sez they will...

I hope they do does not internet because S sometimes chooses that over petting me and it pisses me off. I might have to go eat one of her bras as revenge for that negligence.

I wonder if Santa will actually give me a lump of coal for that...

Maybe I will just go chase my tail to be on the safe side.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I AM Cute!







Listen, I don't try to deny the obvious. I don't fish for compliments. Why bother when everyone cannot seem to contain their love for me when I trot into the room. "Oh you are so adorable Zoe", "C'mere sweetie pumpkin cutie pie"... oy.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Many Moods of Zoe



Laughy. Here is telling me the one where three bitches are walking down the street and a stud approaches them...














Pensive: I was caught in a moment of contemplation.
Where am I going? What is my purpose in life?
Then a ball of yarn rolled by...



Bashful: This picture was taken when someone infomed me that I was not wearing any underwear and that my tail was like a sign saying "woohoo its right here for the taking big boy!" I mean... who would not get a little bashful?

What? A dog is howling for me?? I will be right there... with bells on... but apparently nothing else...





Howly: An emotion very close to laughy only it is more animalistic. You can't see it, but he is tickling me and the moon is full.

Yeh, the one in the sky is full too...