Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Pictures of Confection



I KNOW you want to "Awwwweee!"
Go ahead.  I will wait.  I am used to it.


Cute aren't I?  I am also sweet.  As you can see I am thoroughly covered with powdered sugar and ready to be devoured.



Funny.  Powdered sugar does not taste sweet like I thought it might.  I wonder what all the fuss is.

: )

Friday, January 14, 2011

Notes From the CIA Field Manual


1.45.A:  When confronted by a ruthless and evil terrorist as shown below.  Whatever you do - DO NOT PANIC AND ATTEMPT TO FREE YOURSELF BY GNAWING OFF YOUR OWN LEG!

1.45.B:  GO DIRECTLY FOR THE ACHILLES! 
 (And never forget to protect the flank with the tail.)


ZOE! Dog Versus Nature!

Welcome to my domain.    

Beautiful no?  And WILD.  Perfect for me, ZOE!, Star of the fabulously popular reality show "Dog Versus Nature"!


 This is the part where I introduce you to today's WILD adventure!

I will be showing you city folk how the real woodsman roughs it in the wild.  No fancy showers or trotting off to the germ infested gym for a solid daily workout.  No, I, ZOE! Dog Versus Nature, will show you, the home viewer, how to bathe and exercise all at once, all naturey and in record time so we have the rest of the day to chase sticks and lay out in the sun... in NATURE!

Yeah, I toned down the green.  Way too flashy for the down low ZOE! Dog Versus Nature.



 So here we are in the... hey this water is frigid!  And what are these things below the water?  Where are my anti skids?  These things are slippery!  I think something just bit me!  And the water is all rushy!

TOWEL!




 Is that white stuff milk?  Cuz I AM thirsty from all this exercise.  I think I will just head on over there.



 Phew.  A pile of sticks!  It is a dream come true.  
Jeesh! I wish the water was not so pully!


HELP!  Being       S  U  C  K  E  D       into the stick vortex!  Cannot escape.  Need  MORE power SCOTTY!



Nature:  Not all it's cracked up to be.


; )

Grilling Nightmares - With Zoebert

You know what?  He is gonna ruin my burger.  All that smoke and dust.  One too many scotches my friend.  Hey.  Come to think of it - Where the hell is my scotch?

Yeah.  Blow on it.  Get a dust buster.  Are you spitting?  I like mine rare.  This guy never listens!

This guy... you'd think he'd know how to handle the meat. (snicker - and not the peanut and nougat variety either) I could do a thousand trillion zillion times better.
I'm hungry
 










  












Hmmm... that IS pretty lalishus smelling.  What?  You meant for it to smoke?  BRILLIANT!  Slap it on a bun and do not forget the pickle this time.  My fixations will NOT be denied!  WHAT?  It is for S-Bert?

Another night of denial.