Friday, May 21, 2010

OMG!

Oh my God 
Oh My GOD
OH MY GOD!

LookLookLookLookLookLookLookLookLookLookLookLook
See anything up there?  

I can feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it buzzing!  EWE!  

HELP!

I think I inhaled a fly! 

I did I did I did 

I did

What do you mean I am imagining it?  But but but.... I feels it.
I do not know what you are talking about... what show?   Oh.  Them.
What do you mean?   Seriously, they eat flies for breakfast?
Get serious.  Only reptiles - you know snakes and lizards - eat flies for breakfast.
Ah yes.  Point taken, point taken.

Then why did you get me all panicky like?  JEESH!
I still do not really believe you.

Show me.



Thursday, May 20, 2010

It's Another Te(hiccup!)quila Sunrise


Did I tell you I turned 21?  No?  Maybe because I was so busy.... PARTAAAYYY ing.  Stop screaming!  Head. ACHES.

How many Cinco De Mayos did I have to endure watching those puns shooting down tequila and eating nachos?  Did you know that Mexicans do not really eat nachos and that is more of an amazing American invention?  God BLESS America!!

I digress.

It was two long years before I could bamba la bamba... hit the old pinata!... do the taQUIto!  God I can make anything sound dirty.  I just discovered that when I started drinking tequila and I must say - very very rewarding.  I shall add it to my very long and illustrious resume.

Oh so Cinco De Mayo TEQUILA (shhhh) fest:

Me and my man Stan and my freaky pinky friend went out for a little salt, lime and a boozerin'



**  Did you know the shot does not count or make you drunk if they blow a whistle in your ear and shake your head until you concuss?  It is true.  The headache you feel in the morning is from the shaken drinker syndrome.  No lie.  Look it up if you don't believe me.

So here is me in my sombrero.  Cute  loaded ,no?


And then here are my pals in the morning.  LIGHTWEIGHTS


And here is the beautiful tequila sunrise I woke to the following day.


...  Which I was totally in love with and was totally bustin the Eagles tune (yes, that is what the hip and cool Zoe sez)  when some tard (sorry Sarah) broke in and told me that it was the sunset and I had been passed out for 2 days straight.  Like she'd never done that...

Lessons learned:
Pinto beans do not digest as quickly as everything else.
I will not be ordering anything involving culinary foam for a while
A spot of courage is a dangerous thing.
Never trust a guy who wears feathers as his every day suit.
The worm is not just the thing at the bottom of the tequila bottle.  Har.


Peace.  Out.


See?  Cool huh?