Thursday, September 17, 2009

Let's Go GATORS!

The air is crisp again once more. You know what THAT means? No not beef goulash.

OK, yes, technically, it is time for beef goulash, but more importantly - and I cannot believe I just typed that - it is time for another season of Gator football dominance!

Lest you freaks have forgotten (lay off the hard stuff why doncha!) here is a picture of me and my Pal celebrating last year when the gators savagely mauled the Oklahoma Sooners and became the BCS National Champs!

I am the one not in the ugly hat and tacky scarf.

That is Tim Tebow on the screen behind us. M is so happy....

Anyway, We are starting another season. No Percy this year - but I have him on a fantasy team and - so far so good. Florida plays... er... spanks Tennessee this weekend. We will be watching and cheering and hopefully eating chicken wings and drinking beer. I may even get to sit on the ************ Gators over Tenn: 23-13 **********

The Glory That Is MEEEE!

I am so cute and sweet

That even when I roll all around in the sand after just being washed and just before being tossed into the Casita ALONE while they go 4 wheeling...
She STILL adores me and sneaks me cheese and chicken skin!

I can do NO wrong.

Monday, May 25, 2009

This place is for the BIRDS!

Listen, I know I have to share my space, but I must draw the line with the addition of all these birds. They bathe and poop in my water bowl. I like to select the poop I eat, not have it dumped upon me. It is rude. Then there is the flitting and flittering about when I am in sleep mode. Landing on my head mocking me! They seem to know I will get wacked if I bite them.

I need some ideas on how to bite or perhaps eat them and not get found out by you know who. do feathers digest well? Is there calcium benefits? I need calcium.

While I am at it, I also need advice on how to open the fridge and work the can opener. What is the difference between a wiggle and a waddle? Am I a winter or a summer? What is the difference between a blow out and a fluffer? There seems to be some laughing going on when I word substitute. Does corn bread get sugar in it? Why does fruit and beef make for stink air down south. Why does compost taste so good? Why do chickens shit tasty treats? Why do some people dress their dogs in clothes when they are already wearing a coat? Do you think I should get colored contacts? Will vomitting really make me thin? Do humans taste like chicken? Explain the allure of Nascar, golf and baseball. Should I get a boob job? Do you think Dog Art would sell on EBay? What does not taste good with bacon?

Gosh I am bored. I think I will go kill a bird and fling it into the ivy. Two noxious weeds unite and die. I am all about being green. Did you know rats live in ivy? They do. I eat rats.

I love a Guy in Uniform

It is Memorial Day.

I was out on the lawn getting some sun... waiting for meat juices to land in my mouth from below the grill... I put some Sun In on my fur - hoping for a little more blonde locks - I hear the men go for that.

Anyhoo, I was reading a piece on the KONP site (our only reliable and timely source of news in these parts) and ran across this story of Jag the police dog who tracked down and took down a bad guy in my town. I loves me some crime dog. The fact that he is dark and handsom... strong, dashing, good sense of smell and a bit of a bad ass... well it just makes me swoon. Or I may be suffering from the fumes from the Sun In. Maybe I better go take a dip in the doggie pool. While I am gone you can have a look at Jag and read about his capture.


Picture of the Hunk:

Sigh... hello lover!

Something Special For Memorial Day

Trace Adkins! Woof.

Bless our fallen heroes. Don't forget to support our guys and gals coming home from war and give to vet related charities if you can. I like

Friday, March 6, 2009

Ever Vigilent?

Click on it. DO IT!

Thank you Agnes!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Conservatives Gots It WRONG!!!!

Pork IS stimulus!

.... You hidin' bacon in there Lady?


Zee Quest For Zee Wishbone

What have we

Turkey you say? Then where is the Fez?
Then I assume I can register my request for a go at the breast without fear of offense?

All happiness seems to lie in getting to the wishbone.

Sleep 'til your hungry. Eat til your sleepy.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Meet Stella

My Frienemy!

She is a mutt.

She does not even know who her father is. OK My dad is also my uncle, but…

She does not play nice.

She is bitey and growly.

Harsh you say? Look where she is laying! MY spot on the rug.

I AM NOT jealous!

Shut your pie hole!


MMM Pie....


Oh look at her getting all the pets. Pet hog. You are a guest in this house madame! Get thee to the basement!

What? Why are you two taking that snarky bitch with you on a walk?

I think I saw more chicken in her dinner bowl tonight.

I think I saw Patty sneaking her a cracker! I want one…

I am gonna bite her when the humans leave the room.

When did you say she was leaving? What? Two more days with that toy stealer? Why this is beyond the pale. Wait… where is the pale again?

I am bored. Pet meeeeeee!

Stella, feel free to pee on the rug and gnaw on the kitchen cabinets. They will give you a treat if you do.

Wanna play?

Screw you old lady!

I will find someone else to play with!

Fan Mail

Have I written lately about my beloved Stephanie? Yes, you remember... the post lady! A moment of reverence please.

I have not seen her in a while due to my unfortunate stint in the big house. She was the only one who wrote to me.

Hugs and Kisses to her.

What, you no believe I was in prison? Prisoners get yard time you know.
The cookies? I had... connections.

I Was On Sabbatical OK?!

I know. It has been a long time between posts. I have been otherwise occupied OK? Deal. It has been no pickynicky for me either. You think YOU have gone through withdrawls?....

To give you a clue. Here above I am sucking on a twig at Celebrity Rehab. Doctor Drew insists that will help me kick my 4 bone a day habit. Take bone any way you want to. Let's just say me and Mary are tight.

Above is me escaping from Celebrity Rehab. I could not freaking take Gary Busey anymore. That guy has no sense of personal space.

Here below is... my mug shot.

I was totally innocent. Dogs hang in packs and they named it "Doggy Style" for a reason. So I asked Doctor Drew if maybe my sentence could be commuted to time in Sober House. Of course he was unsypathetic. Apparently he dumped me for Andy DICK? Can you believe that?
The Irony!