Monday, May 25, 2009

This place is for the BIRDS!

Listen, I know I have to share my space, but I must draw the line with the addition of all these birds. They bathe and poop in my water bowl. I like to select the poop I eat, not have it dumped upon me. It is rude. Then there is the flitting and flittering about when I am in sleep mode. Landing on my head mocking me! They seem to know I will get wacked if I bite them.

I need some ideas on how to bite or perhaps eat them and not get found out by you know who. do feathers digest well? Is there calcium benefits? I need calcium.

While I am at it, I also need advice on how to open the fridge and work the can opener. What is the difference between a wiggle and a waddle? Am I a winter or a summer? What is the difference between a blow out and a fluffer? There seems to be some laughing going on when I word substitute. Does corn bread get sugar in it? Why does fruit and beef make for stink air down south. Why does compost taste so good? Why do chickens shit tasty treats? Why do some people dress their dogs in clothes when they are already wearing a coat? Do you think I should get colored contacts? Will vomitting really make me thin? Do humans taste like chicken? Explain the allure of Nascar, golf and baseball. Should I get a boob job? Do you think Dog Art would sell on EBay? What does not taste good with bacon?

Gosh I am bored. I think I will go kill a bird and fling it into the ivy. Two noxious weeds unite and die. I am all about being green. Did you know rats live in ivy? They do. I eat rats.

I love a Guy in Uniform

It is Memorial Day.

I was out on the lawn getting some sun... waiting for meat juices to land in my mouth from below the grill... I put some Sun In on my fur - hoping for a little more blonde locks - I hear the men go for that.

Anyhoo, I was reading a piece on the KONP site (our only reliable and timely source of news in these parts) and ran across this story of Jag the police dog who tracked down and took down a bad guy in my town. I loves me some crime dog. The fact that he is dark and handsom... strong, dashing, good sense of smell and a bit of a bad ass... well it just makes me swoon. Or I may be suffering from the fumes from the Sun In. Maybe I better go take a dip in the doggie pool. While I am gone you can have a look at Jag and read about his capture.


Picture of the Hunk:

Sigh... hello lover!

Something Special For Memorial Day

Trace Adkins! Woof.

Bless our fallen heroes. Don't forget to support our guys and gals coming home from war and give to vet related charities if you can. I like