Friday, March 6, 2009

Ever Vigilent?

Click on it. DO IT!




Thank you Agnes!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Conservatives Gots It WRONG!!!!

Pork IS stimulus!

.... You hidin' bacon in there Lady?

Oink.



Zee Quest For Zee Wishbone

What have we
heeeerrrrreeee
?




Turkey you say? Then where is the Fez?
Oh.
Then I assume I can register my request for a go at the breast without fear of offense?


All happiness seems to lie in getting to the wishbone.




Sleep 'til your hungry. Eat til your sleepy.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Meet Stella


My Frienemy!


She is a mutt.

She does not even know who her father is. OK My dad is also my uncle, but…

She does not play nice.

She is bitey and growly.


Harsh you say? Look where she is laying! MY spot on the rug.

I AM NOT jealous!

Shut your pie hole!

Pie?

MMM Pie....


Hey!

Oh look at her getting all the pets. Pet hog. You are a guest in this house madame! Get thee to the basement!

What? Why are you two taking that snarky bitch with you on a walk?

I think I saw more chicken in her dinner bowl tonight.

I think I saw Patty sneaking her a cracker! I want one…


I am gonna bite her when the humans leave the room.

When did you say she was leaving? What? Two more days with that toy stealer? Why this is beyond the pale. Wait… where is the pale again?

I am bored. Pet meeeeeee!



Stella, feel free to pee on the rug and gnaw on the kitchen cabinets. They will give you a treat if you do.

Wanna play?


Screw you old lady!


I will find someone else to play with!



Fan Mail

Have I written lately about my beloved Stephanie? Yes, you remember... the post lady! A moment of reverence please.

I have not seen her in a while due to my unfortunate stint in the big house. She was the only one who wrote to me.



Hugs and Kisses to her.

What, you no believe I was in prison? Prisoners get yard time you know.
The cookies? I had... connections.

I Was On Sabbatical OK?!

I know. It has been a long time between posts. I have been otherwise occupied OK? Deal. It has been no pickynicky for me either. You think YOU have gone through withdrawls?....

To give you a clue. Here above I am sucking on a twig at Celebrity Rehab. Doctor Drew insists that will help me kick my 4 bone a day habit. Take bone any way you want to. Let's just say me and Mary are tight.

Above is me escaping from Celebrity Rehab. I could not freaking take Gary Busey anymore. That guy has no sense of personal space.


Here below is... my mug shot.

I was totally innocent. Dogs hang in packs and they named it "Doggy Style" for a reason. So I asked Doctor Drew if maybe my sentence could be commuted to time in Sober House. Of course he was unsypathetic. Apparently he dumped me for Andy DICK? Can you believe that?
The Irony!