I Have a Secret Fetish

Is it just me or is the word fetish like the BEST word to describe fetish? It sounds... kink.

OK that out of the way...

Y'all know that I have all sorts of ~ shall we say ~ eccentricities.

I like to indulge in occasional stranger in the park poop feed. I like toooo... rub my butt along the carpet and hump the neighbor dog like a complete whore even though nothing will ever come of it.

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What? That is not me? That is Bruiser, half lab half chihuahua puta? Poo-tah... OK that is funny. See how that joins those two fetish sentences?
POO-TAH. Did you see that? Joined?

Fine.

Where was I? Oh yeah - OK I do not drag ass or hump. That is in fact, that half-breed chihuahua Bruisy. But I do like to eat other dog's poop. I am SO that nasty girl. Fetishy little dirty girl....
WHAT?

Zoe cannot indulge in a little smut talk? No? Fine. Goodytwoshoesfunspoilingturdliftingstooge!

Oh yes. The secret fetish. Hardeehar! HAR!!! HARRRR MAYTEE! Shiver me TIMBERS! Wait... does that work? Timber shivering? No?

Stickler.

OK so when I am alone, lying in bed... and the (ahem) feeling comes over me. And I KNOW that they are a mere step away, waiting to climb in my mouth... puffy... white... and... just a bit gooey. (Squeel!) I tippity toe over to the waste can and grab me a

Fully. Loaded. Kleenex!

Again with the potty minds Dear Reader?

GOOD!

We kinks will get along juuuuust fiiiiine! Glad you are finally falling in line.