Thursday, July 3, 2008

Eff the Fourth!

I may or may not post a photo with this. What sorta kook takes a pic of themselves scared witless, wallowing in their own pee crying for their mama? Listen I am no wimp... ok I am no big wimp... ok I am not a total wimp but I completely lose it (and by it I mean all nerve, ability to stand without quivering, the ability not to scream out loud at the slightest sound and the really important ability to hold my bowels) during the long hard and bitter winter I shall only refer to as the week of the fourth. I also officially hate the Chinese for inventing fireworks, teenagers who light them and direct them my way and M&S for not drip feeding me tranquilizers and tequila shots from July 1-5. Here it is July 3 and I have spent the whole day in my crate venturing out only to pee out what I had not had scared out of me already. Woman was cooking something very delicious and meaty smelling tonight and I could not even go out and scavenge!

Tomorrow they will be cooking all sorts of meaty delicacies on the grill, but I will not be doing any raindances around the menfolk. I will be hiding out in the downstairs tub. If anyone dares to come in the bathroom for a pee I am going to snarl and maybe bite them.

If I survive the night, I will post how things went.

Eff the Fourth.

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