Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ignore the Zee Behind the Curtain!

Hi it is me. Barely able to type. I am dehydrated and weak from pissing and barfing myself. I must MUST go on a diet. I found out in a very untimely moment, that I am too snausage fat to jam myself under the Seally Posturepedic. Too fatty tuna to snuggle under the living room sofa table. Too Zeebert Von Puerco to make a clean getaway from the deck thru the slit in the screen door. BUT just Hogwarts enough to take that mother down without any perceived effort. Fireworks = a burst of adrenaline from a heretofore untapped riches of said substance. Into the tub I went. Safe harbor. It is steel and shrouded by a thick pink curtain. How I love pink! The color of a Hostess Snowball, but also of a Pink Lady... hmmm ick. I digress.

Remember when I said last night that a nervous Zee was not to be trifled with? Do I lie? Do I fool around? Not on the Effing Fourth! So I told you I flew into the safe harbor of the tub when the fireworks got rolling. I was fine. Only troubled by uncontrolled shiveriness and an occasional convulsion and upchuckery of a milk bone and then finally the burger chunk I managed to swipe before beating paws off the deck. I was lying down, minding my own biz, trying to decide whether it was safe to re-eat the burger when who comes into the bathroom after I EXPLICITLY told her to stay the eff out?

You guessed it.

Here is the pic she snapped of me giving her shit for invading my hideyhole. She carries that damn camera wherever she goes. She tried to hug me. I told her to take that hug and shove it!!

PS - I shall close by noting that Man is heading out on the deck to shoot off some expired flairs. We all know how that will go. This after he spent the evening calling the town a bunch of Olympic hillbillies.

Woman is singing "Smoke on the Water". I see this ending badly.

1 comment:

Your Old Friend said...

You take funny to a new level Zoe.