Thursday, July 3, 2008
Meet Auntie Gracie
Meet Auntie Gracie. She is a Boxerette. She is bipolar. One minute the bitch is pulling out the fistacuffs, the next she is licking my nether regions. I cannot make heads or tails of it.
I do love Auntie Gracie though. She is friendly (if not a little talkative) and she takes no shit. My kind of gal.
Here is an excerpt from my interview with Auntie G:
Z: Tell me Auntie, what are your favorite things?
AG: Obviously (duh you dumb retriever) acting like Mike Tyson, humpsuckling my bunny, freshly squeezed, rockhounding and anything Jet Lee. In that order.
Z: And your dislikes?
AG: Being ignored... Hey! Wake up!! That's better. Next time it is your ear doofus. Where was I? Oh yeah, manners class (who needs it?!), cheap rum, inverted stud collars (I am a giver, not a receiver), MSG (slows me down and moves me up a weight class), being called Cookie. In no particular order.
Z: And movies?
AG: Well of course I love "Sybil", "The Three Faces of Eve", "Silence of the Lambs"... and anything Jet Lee. I hate tear jerkers... that's my job!
Z: What is Auntie's Life's Dream?
AG: Long term, I would have to say becoming the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Near term, trippin' with my sweet soul sister Naomi Campbell. Call me bitch!
Z: What is life's greatest mystery.
AG: Peter Cook cheating on Christy Brinkley or men's fascination with something they call "Cathouses". Cats? Who needsum?